This Week’s American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace Had Speedos and Skin Galore


I can’t quite figure out how I feel about this season of American Crime Story. Between the constant time-hopping and the glaring difference between Édgar Ramírez and Penélope Cruz’s Italian accents, there’s just something I can’t quite put my finger on which just doesn’t make me completely enamored by the show.

It isn’t that I’m not enjoying it, though – far from it, in fact. The actors are great and the storyline thus far has been pretty compelling; I find myself wanting to punch Darren Criss’s pathologically lying face every time it pops up on my screen (which is a far cry from me swooning every time Blaine appeared in Glee). Gianni Versace’s character, on the other hand, is remarkably endearing, if perhaps a tad saccharine with his constant extolling of the love of family.

Undoubtedly, though, Penélope Cruz’s portrayal of Donatella Versace is (at least so far) the most enjoyable part of the show, both in her snark and grief.

Also, considering this hasn’t actually been much substantiated, it’s quite an interesting move to portray Gianni Versace as having been HIV positive.

Ryan Murphy, who has cracked the code on male celebrity objectification, should be commended yet again for giving us, the viewers, what we really want. Darren Criss walking on the beach in his cut-off jean shorts or dancing around in his pink undies, and Ricky Martin blurrily getting it on with some rando while in his speedo were some of the highlights of this week’s episode.

Although arguably less titillating than last week’s episode, this week’s episode is a great indication that this season of the show promises constant male skin.


Nick Jonas Partners With John Varvatos

Nick Jonas VarvatosIt’s really pretty amazing how well Nick Jonas has done since his Jonas Brothers days. He’s clearly the Beyoncé or Justin Timberlake of the group. Having gained immense success in television, movies and music, it’s no surprise that fashion designers will want to have him associated with their brand.

Fashion designer, John Varvatos, has recently teamed up with Nick for him to be the face of his latest Spring/Summer ‘18 campaign, with the city of Detroit being the central theme of the line.

Nick Jonas Varvatos 5

For the most part, the pieces are relatively simple, but in a good way. A lot of John Varvatos’ clothing isn’t really part of everyone’s aesthetic, but this line has a more universal element to it. Indeed, Nick Jonas has admitted that a lot of the designing process was inspired by pieces that he, himself, would wear.

It’s a good idea, of course, as Nick Jonas – arguably through his ‘gay-baiting’ – has a significant following by straight and gay men alike, and can therefore appeal to both demographics.

Oily Rio Olympic Flag-Bearer Pita Taufatofua Qualifies for Pyeongchang Winter Olympics


By now, we’ve all seen Pita Taufatofua, the beautiful hunk of man who became a viral internet sensation after his oily, bare-chested flag-waving strut during the 2016 Rio Olympic Opening Ceremony.

Pita recently shared a video on his Facebook, chronicling his success at qualifying for the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics in cross-country skiing. Qualifying for the Olympics is impressive enough; it’s even more so when you consider the fact that snow isn’t exactly a regular occurrence in Tonga!

He spoke with the Olympic Channel about the challenges that he’s faced in his quest to qualify, including the financial sacrifices that he’s had to make and the completely new situation in which he found himself, having to learn an entirely new sport in weather conditions to which he isn’t accustomed.

It’s a great Cinderella story, and Pita will no doubt find himself a huge fan base wanting to root for the underdog. Beyond that, it’s a marvelous reminder of what someone can achieve if they’ve got the desire, drive and dedication to achieve it.

Here’s hoping that we will see that level of dedication every time we see Pita at the Winter Olympics, especially considering that we won’t be seeing him oiled-up and shirtless there.


Nominations for the 38th Razzie Awards are Here

Razzies Noms

Nominations for this year’s Golden Raspberry Awards (commonly known as the Razzies) have been released and while there are some majorly obvious and well-deserved (?) ones, a couple of them have surprised me.

Taking the lead this year, perhaps to no one’s surprise, is Transformers: The Last Knight. Now, admittedly, I haven’t watched Transformers since the second instalment because, well, I don’t hate myself. However, I’m not in the least bit shocked that it’s on this list. I mean, at this point, is there even really a proper story behind the explosions and CGI? The Razzie committee clearly doesn’t think so.

Another not-so-surprising nomination went to Johnny Depp for his reprisal of Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.  The thing is, it isn’t that that Johnny Depp was particularly bad in the movie. It’s just such a tired and played-out role by now that very little enjoyment can be gained from it by the audience.

For me, the biggest surprise (and insult) was Jennifer Lawrence’s nomination for Worst Actress in mother! I know the movie sort of tanked with a lot of viewers but, personally, I feel that that was because it either went over their head, or touched a nerve with overly sensitive “Christians”. There were awful pacing problems throughout the film, but I don’t think Jennifer Lawrence was bad by any means. Javier Bardem, however… well, let’s just say I’m not contesting his nomination.

Sofia Boutella’s role in The Mummy also seems a bit unfair. I wouldn’t rush to give her an Academy Award nomination, but I don’t think she deserves a Razzie either. Same goes for Katherine Heigl in Unforgettable. Now, the movie itself was an abortion of a film, but she was no worse than anyone else in it. In fact, I personally think she was the only redeeming thing about my entire cinematic experience watching it.

Stray observation: how crappy must it feel to be nominated as worst actor in two separate movies in the same year? Looking at Mark Wahlberg and Javier Bardem.

Take a look at the nomination video below, and delight in the deliciously shady way in which Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales and Transformers: The Last Knight, which are both only the fifth movies in the franchises, are referred to as Pirates of the Caribbean XIII: Dead Careers Tell No Tales and Transformers XVII: The Last Knight.

Also, as wholeheartedly against Jennifer Lawrence’s nomination as I am, wouldn’t it be freaking amazing if she showed up a la Halle Berry or Sandra Bullock?!

show me the nominations, dammit!

Ansel Elgort’s Butt is a Supernova!


You know, the real fault in those stars was that we never actually got to see Ansel Elgort’s peachy derrière sans jeans. Has no one noticed what a great butt he has or have I just been living under a rock?

Ansel Elgort, of The Fault in Our Stars and Baby Driver fame, recently released a music video for his single, “Supernova.” He’s been working in music for a while, and I’m actually pretty surprised he released it under his full name, as he’d previously had his acting name separate from his music persona, Ansolo.

Either way, he’s released the video for the moderately catchy song, the hook for which always seems to take ages to get out of my head whenever I listen to it. The song itself feels like an odd cross between trap and elements of indie rock, and is pretty dark, but impressive.

The main draw, however, is Ansel’s bum in the tight jeans he’s running around in. It is simultaneously ass-tounding and arousing.

Let’s Take a Moment to Appreciate Taron Egerton’s Sexiness


Taron Egerton is one of those guys who always seems to toe the line between hot and adorable. In fact, I’m very often unsure as to which I think he is. One minute I’ll see him shirtless and think ‘what I’d give to get on that’ and the next minute I’ll see him singing forgotten lyrics in an interview and totally want to pinch his cheeks.

Probably best known from the Kingsman movies, he’s got a pretty versatile range of credits, including voice over in Illumination’s Sing. He’s also going to be starring in a dark adaptation of Robin Hood, which is produced by Leonardo DiCaprio, and slated for a September 2018 release. That, in itself, I’m sure is gonna give me plenty of blog fodder closer to the time of its release.

For now, though, let’s just appreciate Taron’s sexiness with some (NSFW) images because I can’t describe him any better than his Robin Hood co-star, Jamie Foxx, with the profound compliment: “that f***ing jawline. Good-looking motherf***er!”

Amen, Jamie. Amen.

show me the NSFW images, dammit!

Darren Criss bears his butt on American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace


God bless Ryan Murphy! I mean, from that Finn Whitrock-Matt Bomer tighty-whitey showdown, then the Evan Peters/Colton Haynes sex scene to now Darren Criss in the nude, he’s basically become the fairy gayfather we’ve always wanted.

American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace premiered on Wednesday 17th January and it feels like this has been teased for the past 10 years. Between the thirst-trap photos of Darren Criss, and the condemnation of the veracity of the story by the Versace family, I feel like we’ve been hearing about this show for ages.

Anyway, the show finally premiered and they held back nothing in the premiere. Ricky Martin in a speedo, Edgar Ramírez getting flirty with other guys and Penélope Cruz in full-on Donatella Versace garb were just a few of the highlights. To be honest, though, I kinda blanked out a bit after seeing Darren Criss’ ass. At the risk of sounding like a gigantic pervert, this has been a fantasy of mine since Glee was on the air and I shipped Klaine harder than I have ever shipped or will ever ship any of my own relationships.

Side note: I’m really impressed with Penélope Cruz’s portrayal of Donatella Versace so far.

I may do an Unsolicited Review saga for this season of American Crime Story but for now, let’s just bask in the glory of Darren’s butt after the jump. NSFW, obvi.

show me Darren Criss’ ass, dammit!

… because random is awesome!