If there’s one issue that’s sure to rile up a homosexual, it’s this one. More insulting than blood donation bans, more infuriating than the inability to legally wed is the argument that someone can be “cured” of their homosexuality with a little therapy. Now, as much as I believe that proponents of this “ex-gay”, “gay conversion”, “reparative” or however-the-hell-else-they-wanna-sugar-coat-it therapy are all idiots who should be legally and medically prevented from procreating, I can understand why some straight people would be all for it. It’s no secret that millions of people hate homosexuals and would willingly give their last (and possibly only) functioning brain cell to turn us all straight, even though our being gay doesn’t affect their lives in any conceivable way. However, my issue lies with the homosexuals who perpetrate this monstrosity of an offence. I completely understand that not every gay person is strong enough to withstand the societal and religious persecution that seems to come with the territory of being part of the LGBT community. I understand that years of self-loathing and years of being taught that who you are is the greatest natural and spiritual abomination imaginable is a powerful thing to break free from. And I completely 100% understand the desire to change that aspect of yourself if it would mean an easier life. These are all perfectly rational circumstances, and anyone who claims not to understand needs a reality-check. However, we should all have the intellectual capacity to be able to draw a line when it becomes more than blindingly clear that this bullshit of a program doesn’t work.
And it doesn’t work.
Every single “ex-gay” statement that I’ve read online somehow finds a way to mention that it is “an everyday struggle” or “the temptations are strong” and every conceivable alternative that you can imagine that pretty much boils down to the fact that what they’re saying is “I’m still a raging ‘mo, but at least I’m trying my hardest to ignore my attraction to members of the same sex”.
And why? If it’s so difficult to do, and you’re aware that you’re always going to have this struggle, why continue? It sure as hell isn’t because your new “heterosexual life” makes you happy – that much is obvious. The reason that they continue is because, although they know all too well that they’re still gay, they far prefer to receive the validation of heterosexuals than to ever admit it. In essence, they stick with it to make the homophobes happy. It’d be funny if it honestly weren’t so sad.
I hope I’m not coming off as too harsh towards all those who are truly struggling with this, but I have to admit that I don’t understand it. Every time you have to imagine Tom Daley or Scott Bakula just to get an erection for your wife, or in the reversal of roles: imagine Jennifer Lawrence or Angelina Jolie just for a hint of moisture down there, you’re making yourself a little bit more miserable. Every time you have to stare down your husband or wife just to convince yourself that you’re truly in love with them, you’re driving yourself a little more insane. And all this is just to be able to say to your straight mentors that you can do it, when all this time they’re fully enjoying their heterosexual intercourse with the actual loves of their lives. Even if they weren’t, they would never say it… and why? Because heterosexuals have figured out something that too many gay people haven’t – that they don’t owe us a single explanation or apology for the way they live their lives. Why, then, do we feel that we do?
The reason that I’m bringing this up today is because of a recent article that I read, in which ex ex-gay, John Paulk, slams Governor Rick Perry for his recent remarks regarding homosexuality. In case you missed it, Rick Perry recently likened homosexuals to alcoholics, arguing that the same way an alcoholic may be genetically disposed to drink but can fight the urges, so can a homosexual with their urges. This, understandably, pissed off a slew of people, but I’m not one of them. Honestly, I think that this pathetic idea is far too ridiculous to even be remotely offensive. John Paulk, however, disagreed, and he argued that Rick Perry has no idea what he’s talking about.
Once an outspoken advocate for ex-gay therapy, Paulk finally admitted to himself and to the world that he’d never been “cured”, never been “straight”, and he decided to live his life as himself. It took him a while, but at least he finally got there. The thing is, I’m not even speaking as some gay lobbyist who’s threatened by a treatment that could possibly bring about an end to my perverse lifestyle, because I can assure you that that’s what any given homophobe would believe. Every reputable medical, psychological and psychiatric board has unanimously agreed that reparative therapy doesn’t work; in fact, studies have shown that it produces extreme psychological damage.
Why, then, is this still allowed? How can we even entertain the notion of those Republicans trying to push it? When are we finally going to admit that this thing doesn’t work? I’ll tell you when: when we’ve finally stopped hating, and started loving. Not necessarily homophobes loving the LGBT community, because that’s likely never going to happen; but when gays stop allowing themselves to be brainwashed by a narrow-minded society, and stop hating themselves. Because, without homosexuals who are under the misguided notion that they need to be fixed, there would be no need for this vile reparative therapy.