Joe Manganiello Is People Magazine’s #1 Hottest Bachelor

Joe Manganiello People Cover

With all the constant dating and partner-hopping that occurs in Hollywood, I’m frankly quite surprised the People Magazine’s July 14th issue was able to find 10 bachelors, let alone 101. However, they were able to do just that… or, at least, they claimed to do just that. I took a look at their alleged “hottest bachelors” and some of the names included have been, even quite recently, romantically linked to someone (eg Henry Cavill, Taye Diggs, Aaron Rodgers, and are we just going to pretend that we don’t know that Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are together?). So, unless the definition of “bachelor” has suddenly been altered by the Oxford Dictionary specifically for the convenience of People’s editors, I think we might need a recount.

Ranking at the #1 spot of hottest bachelor is current Hollywood it boy man, Joe Manganiello. Of course he would have been chosen number one. He’s gorgeous with one of the most enviable bodies in Hollywood, he was an instant phenomenon from his first appearance on True Blood, he starred in Magic Mike, which, despite its pretty lacklustre storyline, is still positively mentioned on an almost daily basis, and he recently made his directorial debut in a very buzzed-about stripper-related documentary, La Bare. Seriously, if there’s anyone who could drive magazine sales with no scandalous headline attached, it would be Joe Manganiello. Despite the fact that some actors are more prominently featured than others in the issue, Joe is the only one who was actually interviewed, and who therefore has any real presence at all in the magazine.

In the interview, Joe discusses his views on love and relationships, and he comes off as perfectly romantic as your fantasies could have desired.

When asked about his idea of the perfect kiss:

The perfect kiss feels like you’re on drugs. Like you’re off the planet. It’s just the two of you in the middle of the universe. And long! I believe it is something that can always be rekindled. That’s the ember that you reignite over the years.

On handling heartbreak:

When I can look into the mirror and say, “I’ve been the greatest boyfriend I can possibly be,” and that other person isn’t willing to step it up, you have to let it go. It’s hard and it sucks, but because I did my best, that’s the only way I can walk away and say, “There’s going to be something better for me.”

The only part of the interview which had me scoffing laughing, was this little gem:

I am part Sicilian. I am passionate. I am a hot-blooded person. If you don’t like spicy, then maybe I’m not for you.

It’s just… I mean… sexy dude, please! Can we please stop acting like our descent from a specific ethnic or cultural identity automatically somehow shapes our personality? The thing is, people will read what he said and go “Oh, he’s part Italian, so that totally makes sense”. However, it really doesn’t! If an African-American actor were to say something along the lines of “Well I’m of African descent, so I like a woman who appreciates a warrior hunter”, we’d be side-eyeing him from now until doomsday, and calling Rev Al Sharpton to come get him and put him in a corner. I don’t deny that cultural or ethnic identities do play a part both in the nature and nurture role of our development, but to brazenly declare that where our ancestors (or parents or grandparents) originated from automatically explains the personality that we’ve chosen for ourselves is utter rubbish and needs to be treated as such.

Also featured in the magazine is Zac Efron, who has been featured around the web quite a bit recently, due to videos of him dancing on vacation. I really only bring him up because of comments that I saw on a site a little while earlier. Silly little fangirls were furiously demanding to know why so many people seemed to think that Zac is gay, all the while adamantly insisting that he is “100% straight”. First off, Zac Efron is not our childhood best friend, so we don’t know that he is “100% straight”… nor do we know that he is gay. It is conjecture on either side, and none of our business either way. As a gay man, does my gaydar make me believe that Zac Efron is gay? Yes, it does. Does that mean that I’m right? Absolutely not. Do I care? Not a chance in hell because – and I hate how awful this sounds – Zac Efron really isn’t very interesting to me. I just think that it’s ridiculous to be so outraged over someone’s belief that Zac may be gay. The only reason that these people are so upset is because it dampens whatever teenage fantasy that they have of themselves frolicking somewhere with Zac, which is unfortunate because no amount of public defending of Zac Efron’s sexual orientation will ever make these fantasies fulfilled. The mere fact that he’s currently on a list of bachelors is all the proof that you need. Whether Zac Efron is gay or straight is really no one’s business but his and whomever it is that he decides to become romantically involved with.

The People issue, which is currently available for purchase, is quite misleading in its headline. While, technically, it does feature “101 single guys”, I was under the impression that they would each have their own personal piece, no matter how short it might be. In reality, fewer than a dozen are featured separately (still, with no interview) and the others are all grouped in five or six pages of tiny picture collages. Either way, it’s still fun to look through and see which of our favourite entertainment hunks haven’t settled down yet, and we’re able to feel that less guilty about those erotic fantasies daydreams that we have of them.

Joe Manganiello People 4

Joe Manganiello People 1

Joe Manganiello People 2

Joe Manganiello People 3

Zac Efron
Zac Efron
Scott Eastwood
Scott Eastwood
Chadwick Boseman
Chadwick Boseman
Tom Ellis
Tom Ellis
Derek Theler
Derek Theler
Jean-Luc Bilodeau
Jean-Luc Bilodeau

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