True Blood Season 7 Episode 3 “Fire In The Hole”: My Unsolicited Review

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WARNING: CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS!

SONOFABITCH!!! In possibly the biggest upset in the history of the show, True Blood killed off Alcide, the best addition to the original cast (with the possible exception of Jessica). Last week when I said that stuff was going to heat up among Sookie, Bill and Alcide, I hadn’t anticipated that the writers of the show were literally going to drag us through Hell with this disgusting plot twist. First Tara, now this… honestly, I don’t even know why I even still bother with this show (I’ll still be watching). Now, truth be told, I did see this coming the second Sookie started on her ridiculous, unsympathisable sob story about realising that Alcide was more in love with her than she was with him, and not knowing how much longer she could live with the guilt. Um, faerie bitch, please! You spent close to five seasons hating Eric for not respecting you adequately, then the rest of the time hating Bill for manipulating and lying to you! Now you have a man who has loved you practically from the first day you two met and we’re supposed to feel sorry for you because you can’t love him enough? True Blood has been getting a lot of flack for veering so off course from its original storyline, especially where Bill and Sookie is concerned. So, as soon as I heard Sookie boo-hooing about not being as in love with Alcide as she should be, I realised that they were gearing up to get her and Bill back together. However, the only way that that could work was with Alcide out of the picture. The problem is that Alcide has been a fan favourite from day one, so if they had Sookie break up with him, it would have caused a hugely negative reaction with the show’s fanbase, which is something they can’t afford to do in the final season. Therefore, I knew that the only way to deal with it was to kill him off. Still, though, I expected that to come much later on in the season, giving me enough time to mentally prepare myself… not one time, and from a gunshot wound to the head by some nobody character who doesn’t even matter! Honestly, right now, no other story of the night is even worthy of mentioning, but I’ll still try my best.

The saga of the band of Hep-V infected vamps continued, now with an even lower supply of food and an undesirable but necessary need to go out and seek more. As such, they take Holly as hostage for some reason that is lost on me, to go hunting. At this point, this particular storyline is really far more than a growing annoyance than it is the huge attraction that the writers are making it out to be.

Continuing from last week when she downed a ton of Willa’s blood, we find Lettie Mae tripping balls this week, crashing into the church, chasing down Tara’s ghost. Reverend Daniels finally admits that she is off the wagon again and, fearing that she would keep manipulating Willa into giving her more blood, he rescinds Willa’s invitation from the house.

Jason and Violet ended up in another argument this week, this time over the fact that Jason asked her if she would consider having children with him when the entire ordeal was over. This drives her into a rage, and she accuses him of being a “girl”, not like the “warriors” of her day, because apparently men who want a family are not manly enough now. I’m very much on the fence about Violet. At some points I quite enjoy her aggressiveness, and at others I’m just like “why are you still here? I’m tired of your face.” This week’s episode had me feeling both ways about her. Her moronic rant to Jason that caring about death somehow makes you less of a man, plus her bitchy attitude to Jessica really made me wish the true death on her, but she made up for it when she killed Maxine Fortenberry. Now, I very much enjoyed the character of Maxine throughout the seasons, and she was played beautifully by actress Dale Raoul. However, especially after she shot Jess last night, it was time for her to go, and I didn’t mourn her.

The most bizarre storyline of the night went to Eric. Pam finally found him, suffering with Hep V and giving up on life. However, instead of really showing us what he’d been doing these past six months (he only started showing symptoms a month ago), we relived some strange memories involving the Authority, the makers of True Blood, and some French human woman named Sylvie. I genuinely had no idea what was going on with that all night. Eric, from the beginning of the series, has treated every human other than Sookie with nothing but contempt. Are we now all of a sudden to believe that he was so in love with this Sylvie woman years ago? There’s also an added subplot with Sarah Newlin that I’m really not going to get into right now, because Alcide!

Now to the pièce de resistance: the unnecessary farewell. This really started when Sookie snuck out of the house to go visit Bill, to talk him into some moronic plan. The point of the plan was to lure the vampires into kidnapping her so that Bill could sense where she was, discover the nest of the sick vampires, and take them out. Theoretically, it isn’t a completely brainless plan, but since the characters on True Blood are too busy dipping in and out of their accent, they’re rarely afforded much time to think clearly. We’re dealing with a group of sick, starving vampires, who are well aware that they’re on the brink of death. In what world would they have the will and strength to take Sookie (part fae) to their den, instead of ripping immediately into her and draining her dry? Added to the fact that the only back up that Sookie brought with her was Bill (again, against an army of vampires), were they really so dumbshit stupid that they didn’t realise that the plan would somehow end in tragedy? The worst part was that even after he was shot, Jessica suggested that one of them turn Alcide into a vampire, but Sookie refused, arguing that she’d “been down that road before”. How is the decision whether Alcide lives or dies solely hers? Up on out of here with that shit! It was just such a ridiculous way to kill off Alcide that it was more insulting than it was depressing. True Blood has a really long way to go in a very short space of time, and right now I’m not sure how they’re going to go about doing it. One of the promising storylines seems to be the whole Lafayette/James relationship, which I am interested to see develop.

True Blood really is pulling out all the stops this season, although not always necessarily in a good way. However, we’ve got some way to go to find out what journey it is exactly that we’re on.  As always,  more GIFs (some quite NSFW) after the jump.

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