Instead of wasting billions of dollars on phones and software that ultimately piss so many people off, I have a suggestion for Apple. Why don’t they invest all that time, energy and money into something that will actual thrill and benefit us all? And, of course, by that I mean life-size, identical, anatomically-correct replicas of Chris Pratt!
Chris Pratt, the walking orgasm waiting to happen, hosted this past weekend’s Saturday Night Live. I can use this opportunity to talk about how great he was, and how funny he always is… but who cares about that right now?! All that matters is that during one of his sketches, he donned the iconic He-Man costume and, because the writers of SNL are angels who walk among us, this involved him baring a whole lot of skin.
Ever since Chris’ drool-worthy new physique was revealed for his Guardians of the Galaxy role, people have been going on and on about his abs. But can I please just take a second to bring to all of our attention how amazingly sexy this man’s legs are?! I readily admit that I’ve got a thing for legs, and the only thing that I’m sorry about is that I’m so not sorry about it!
Right now, I have no idea what this sketch was really about, because I was far too distracted paying close attention to what was springing beneath that god-awful, furry loin cloth. There’s really no need to mention this but, like everyone else in this world, I so would… Anna Wintour-looking wig and all. Just show me them legs!