Take A Step Into The Stupidity Vortex

Winnie the Pooh Reading

Sometimes we need to just take a deep breath, remember that insanely idiotic people exist, and ignore them. At other times, it is just as important to take a moment to reflect on just how idiotic they really can be. Allow me to present you with two dumbass award-worthy examples that you may have missed.

Stupidity Vortex #1

Polish officials have completely rejected the idea to have a playground named after Winnie the Pooh. Ok, fair enough… until you hear the reason. What is the reason, you may ask? They believe that Winnie the Pooh is “wholly inappropriate” for children because he does not wear any pants. Yes… let that sink in for a bit. Fully grown adults who are evidently in charge of imposing national policies are arguing that a cartoon bear is detrimental to the mental state of children because he isn’t wearing any pants… because, you know, real bears that are actually anatomically correct apparently run around wearing Levi’s every day in the wild.

One of them actually claimed, “The author was over 60 and cut [Pooh’s] testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity”, while another argued that Winnie the Pooh is a “hermaphrodite”. Which is it, though? Is he a eunuch or a hermaphrodite? Actually, he’s neither, and you know why I say that?

Because he’s a fucking cartoon character!

This is what irritated me about these stupid people. They’re so intent on trying to prove their nonexistent ethical superiority that they only wind up showcasing their unnatural obsession with other people’s (or bears’) sexuality and sexual identity, ultimately creating problems that don’t exist to begin with! We all grew up knowing Winnie the Pooh, and I’m pretty sure that his pantslessness never really led to any psychological damage within us. However, due to these morons’ “concern” for their children, they’ve now produced perfect context for children to be exposed to more than they really should. “Mommy, what’s a hermaphrodite?” “Dad, why does Winnie the Pooh need to wear pants?” These are questions that we never had to ask our parents, but can surely be asked today.

Stupidity Vortex #2

Texas lawmakers have approved the inclusion of some historical… uh, “facts” into Board of Education-approved social studies text books for schools in various districts. What are these “facts”, you may ask? Well, for one, Moses was evidently instrumental in the founding of the United States, and its resulting Constitution… or, at least, his teachings were. The Founding Fathers were evidently such devout and unapologetic Christians that Biblical teachings played an irrefutable role in their writing of founding documents. As you can very well imagine, this was pushed by right-wing Christians. Yeah, and gays are the ones with an “agenda”.

In addition, sectionalism was apparently a more prominent cause of the Civil War than slavery was because, you know, I’m willing to bet that the north and south were mostly at odds because they couldn’t agree on the proper pronunciation of “you all”.

Yes, dear friends, stupid people do indeed exist. Often, the most harm it does is give the rest of us a splitting headache when we’re forced into contact with them. However, when they’ve got the power to influence national policy and laws like the above examples, we’re in for a lot more pain than just a headache.

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