Can Love Ever Be Incomplete?

American Idol alum, David Archuleta, has found himself the subject of some unflattering opinions after he tweeted comments made by Mormon Church superior, Boyd K. Packer

Romantic love is incomplete. It is a prelude. Love is nourished by the coming of children, who spring from the fountain of love…expressed between a man and a woman in marriage. #PresPacker.

Naturally, that went over about as well as a Miranda Lambert-singing, transgender, gay soldier at a Westboro Baptist Cult Church protest, so David quickly issued an apology:

I apologize if I have offended anyone with the quote I sent out Saturday. I guess I didn’t think about the line “expressed between a man and a woman in marriage” being stressed when the whole quote didn’t fit in just 1 tweet. I am sorry my intentions were misunderstood, as my main focus was that too often romance is looked at as the end-all when there is so much more. The bonds that can be there within a family and raising kids, as that is the most valuable thing I have: my family. I do hope however, that whoever may have been offended may know I respect everyone’s freedom to believe and live as they choose. I hope others can respect what I value most in my life as well. Again, I’m sorry and please forgive me if I offended you. David

Now, this entire thing didn’t anger me nearly as much as it has evidently angered so many others. Maybe it’s because stupid comments like that don’t really surprise me anymore. Maybe it’s because I think that everyone is entitled to their opinion. Either way, I find the sentiments behind the comments more irritating than downright outrageous. That said, there are two specific aspects of the situation that truly piss me off:-

1. David’s apparent surprise that people could possibly misconstrue homophobia from those statements. I mean, let’s be real! David Archuleta is no longer the wide-eyed sixteen year old on Idol. He is a grown ass man, who should be blindingly aware of how big an issue LGBT rights currently are. Are we really supposed to believe that he’s so naive that the not-so-subtle homophobic subtext of that message was lost on him? Even worse, when he was called out on it, his apology was issued IF he offended anyone. People really need to stop phrasing “apologies” this way. Apologizing “if” you’ve offended someone is pretty much the equivalent of saying “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what I said/did, but in the event that anyone is pissed off by it, I’ll say that I’m sorry in order to avoid an ugly situation”. And, if you ask me, that’s not really an apology at all. If we’re truly sorry, we shouldn’t apologize if we’ve offended someone, but apologize for offending them.

2. The fact that we are still, in this day and age, invalidating relationships that don’t have children! I think kids are great, and it’s always amazing when good people decide to have kids. However, it is so infuriating to me the way that people totally trivialize or dismiss childless relationships, pegging it as somehow lesser to relationships that have borne children. “Romantic love is incomplete. It is … nourished by the coming of children…” Seriously, what the fuck? This is such an insult to all those couples – homosexual or heterosexual – who either cannot have children or choose not to. Why is the love that they share not sufficient just because there are no kids in the mix? Not to mention all those couples who have experienced the tragedy of having conceived, only to lose the baby during the pregnancy. Statements like Packer’s do little more than say to these folks, “Nice try, but you still failed. Your love still isn’t sufficient.’ Ugh! Meanwhile, there are a shit ton of loveless marriages existing in society where the couples only stay together because they feel resigned bound to their children. We also know of those where pregnancies are secretly forced in order to manipulate one of the partners into staying with the other. Where’s the “complete love” in that?

Hmm, now that I think about it, maybe some people aren’t entitled to an opinion, after all!

Pic via David Archuleta

2 thoughts on “Can Love Ever Be Incomplete?”

  1. I agree with your words above 100%!

    This man (emphasis on man) knew exactly what could be derived from what he was saying, and only afterwards when people jumped on him did he say “oh, I’m screwing my fan base, I better retract.”

    If. Oh lord. Nailed it.

    And THANK YOU for your statement about children and relationships. You have no idea how painful comments like these can be. In fact, I just had a business partner say to me a few weeks back, after complaining about having to start paying for his kid’s college “You made the right decision on that one, Natalie. Kids are expensive.” As if I had chosen to live my life childless. It took every ounce of my strength to (1) not lose my shit and punch him in the face (2) not let my jaw drop to the floor or start crying and (3) not yell out “I had a fucking miscarriage last spring and I haven’t been able to get pregnant since, so it’s not like it’s my DECISION so much as my CURSE.”

    Sometimes people just shouldn’t talk. Period.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! How shitty a person do you have to be to not realize that your holier-than – thou words have the potential to really hurt people who may not resemble your moronic views?!

      First off, your business partner was a dick so he can just go jerk himself off. Secondly, I’m so sorry you had to endure insensitive comments like that! No matter what, you’re awesome, truly!


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