Helloooo, John Stamos!

John Stamos Nude

If you haven’t yet sent up a silent prayer of thanks for the existence of the internet, I would suggest that you do it now. DILF-type extraordinaire, John Stamos, did the world a collective solid when he dropped trou for Paper Magazine. Let’s remember that these are the same people who came up with this “Break the Internet” shit with Kim Kardashian, for which I’ve expressed my consternation multiple times, so the fact that they’ve given us John Stamos in all his naked glory now makes them forgiven.

Before I speak about the interview, can I just say DAMN! Who knew Uncle Jesse was hiding all that in them jeans? All our Anacondas definitely DO!

Back to the actual interview… it’s little more than a puff piece really. Praises him for being gorgeous with a strong fan base, without delving into any real issues, but that’s ok. It’s a fun and funny piece, and John Stamos comes off as charmingly as ever, if perhaps a tad grating with all his blatant humility.

“I’m a crappy singer”, my ass! He’s released his own album and is an award-winning Broadway actor! Regardless, he can spout all the rubbish modesty he’d like if it means he’s gonna accompany it with pics like that one.

Take a walk down memory lane with Daniel Radcliffe

This has been pretty much everywhere the past few days, so most of you should have seen it. For those of you who may not have, I am beyond pleased to be the one to bring it to your attention. It has been almost 15 years since Harry Potter & the Sorceror’s Stone first came out, and yet it remains the gift that keeps on giving!

A video of a young, pre sex-inducing Daniel Radcliffe doing a screen test as Harry has been making the rounds, and it is all kinds of adorable and nostalgic. While, from The Prisoner of Azkaban onwards, Daniel did a kickass job of making that role his bitch, I’d always thought he was just barely tolerable in the first two movies, in part due to his age. Surprisingly, though, he kills it in that screen test, even doing an incredible reading from The Prisoner of Azkaban, which didn’t come out until three years after.

Radcliffe, we all know, has done an amazing job of nurturing an impressive acting career, even when considering films which don’t do fantastically at the box office (including Victor Frankenstein, which I haven’t seen yet, but am dying to), but seeing him prepare for the role which made it all possible is – please forgive the corniness – absolutely magical!

Dirty Paws is the Werewolf Story I Never Knew I Needed

I totally credit The Gaily Grind for introducing me to this. Karina Farek who, amazingly does a lot of gay-themed artwork, wrote, directed and animated Dirty Paws, and it is the most adorable thing! Dirty Paws follows a couple – half of whom is a werewolf – on the night of a full moon, and, obviously, the trials that this presents. I know that it’s only an animated short, but I can’t believe just how endearing it is. It’s hard to describe just what about it is so incredible, and it might be different things to different people but, for me, I love that it follows less the werewolf (as so many of these stories tend to) and more the human partner. I think this stands out so much to me because, despite the supernatural and fantastical nature of the story, the fact that we see it mostly from the perspective of the human makes it a bit more relatable to us… unless you happen to be a werewolf yourself, in which case I sincerely apologise and… holla at me! I also love the relative normalcy of the situation, and the underlying, unspoken message that love really can weather anything if you let it. Seriously, someone needs to work on this becoming an actual HBO series, and I’ve got tons of casting suggestions. Ok, enough of my yapping! Enjoy the video!

I’m Baaaaaaaack… Again… Again

AHS-Madison-Surprise-Bitch

God, it feels like CPS should be knocking on my door right now, because I know it pretty much looks like I’ve abandoned my baby. Elitosphere is, I know, something of a love child of myself and the insanity I call my mind but I swear it wasn’t laziness which kept me away (not entirely, anyway), nor was it disinterest.

I’m pretty sure I mentioned in one of my last posts that I was preparing to move to another country. Well, it happened. I moved to the UK about six months ago and, since then, classes have pretty much taken over my life. I keep forgetting how nauseating higher education is… and I demand a refund on this thing called adulthood, because it’s not what I was promised it would be. Either way, settling in to a new country and keeping up with classes most substantially explains my absence. Another – lesser but incredibly significant – reason is the neurotic, unnecessary pressure and insecurities that I was forcing on myself with the posts that I was publishing on the blog. That one, I’ll probably tackle in its own subsequent blog.

That said, I am back (for the time being) and I’m gonna try to be a little less of a neglectful asshole.

ps, I won’t even go into how different the WordPress layout now is after all these months.

Holy. Hell.

Let’s Take A Moment To Appreciate Mehcad Brooks’ Sexiness

Mehcad Brooks Necessary Roughness

If I had to give a review of the second season of Desperate Housewives, it would go like this: “Absolute worst season of the entire show, but Mehcad Brooks!!!”

This Sexiness Appreciation post has been a long time coming. Mehcad Brooks is a gorgeous specimen of a man, and he’s got SEX written all over him. Some of you may know him as Matthew Applewhite from Desperate Housewives, Jerome from The Game, Eggs from True Blood, TK from Necessary Roughness, or the newest face of Jimmy Olsen in CBS’ upcoming Supergirl. Or, perhaps you know him from those mind-blowingly sexy Calvin Klein “Elements” ads. However you may know him, I’m pretty sure he would have made some sort of impact on you.

So, after the jump, take a moment to appreciate all the sexy that is Mehcad Brooks. Fair warning: the GIFs included are severely NSFW.

Show me the sexiness, dammit!

#BeyonceAlwaysOnBeat is the Reason The Internet Was Created

Sure, sure, the dissemination of crucial information, education, and advancement of human existence are sorta reasons also, but I can assure you that the creator of the internet had known, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we would one day need to the phenomenon #beyoncealwaysonbeat.

Social media has a way of turning the most obscure ideas into global obsessions. If the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, the Blue/Gold Dress Debate or #CharlieCharlie have taught us anything, it’s that at any moment, we, the public, can turn anything into a worldwide frenzy through our use of social media. Beyoncé, who is already pretty much the queen of everything, if the number of GIFs on Tumblr is any indication, recently took Twitter, Instagram and Vine by storm with the hashtag #beyoncealwaysonbeat. If you aren’t aware of it – and I’d be seriously shocked to learn that you were – this latest craze involves taking a short clip of any one of Beyoncé’s incredible, on-point choreography, and blending it with any random song (though it works best with songs containing strong bass beats). The result is the incredible realization that Beyoncé’s moves seem to go in sync with anything thrown at her… though, really, we didn’t need a hashtag to tell us that.

The entire thing is silly yet genius, inane but hilarious, and I cannot tell you how much time I’ve spent going through far too many of these videos. For those of you who may not be aware of it, I’ve included some of my favorite after the jump.

Show me the #beyoncealwaysonbeat videos, dammit!

Paralyzed Ex-Football Player Chris Norton’s Walk Across His Graduation Stage Will Make You Feel Things

Seriously, get ready for the feeliest feels possible! Chris Norton, who became paralyzed after a sports injury in his freshman year, was afraid that he’d never again regain movement beneath his neck. Still, he set a monumental goal for himself: to walk across his graduation stage to receive his degree. Chris dedicated up to six hours a day training for that moment and, watching him accomplish it is an absolutely remarkable experience.

With help from his fianceé, Emily – to whom he’d gotten engaged just the day prior – every tiny and difficult step that Chris took kicked “the impossible” right in its face. The cheers and encouragement that he received from the audience is pretty much the audible version of what you feel inside, watching him realise his goal. You’ve got to watch the video to truly appreciate the awesomeness of it all. Just keep reminding yourself, “don’t shed a tear, don’t shed a tear.”

Actually, you know what? To hell with that! Shed as many tears as you want!

… because random is awesome!